The Fourth Sage (The Circularity Saga) Page 7

  "Yes, but you could ask her," Kiire insists.

  "That sounds so silly."

  "I know. Might be worth a try, though." Kiire slumps back into the futon as if readying himself to be entertained.

  "Okay." Aries stretches out her arm. "Fine. Let's try this. Let's make a fool of ourselves, shall we?" As she looks at Born-of-Night, Aries tries to visualize the hawk landing on her arm. Nothing happens. The hawk is busy cleaning the area under her wings. Aries concentrates on imagining the landing. Nothing.

  "That's so silly, Kiire. I told you that's not how it works. She doesn't get what I want her to do and how could she."

  "Just give it a minute. And try to connect with her differently."

  "How?"

  "I don't know. Just... differently."

  The hawk is still busy with her cleaning routine. She closes her eyes. Instead of imagining Born-of-Night landing on her arm, she reaches out toward the hawk with her thoughts, trying to feel her presence within herself. At first she can't find her but then she feels the slightest brush against her, like in the shaft the other day. Her presence feels small, fragile, but there nevertheless.

  Aries opens her eyes while holding the hawk's presence within herself. And then it happens. Born-of-Night looks up toward Aries. At the same time she can feel the bird’s presence getting stronger within her, as if curtains in front of a window have been opened and the light streams in. The hawk’s presence floods Aries’s mind as Born-of-Night lets out a loud cry, jumps off the coatrack and lands on Aries's arm.

  "Cool!" Kiire smiles. "If everything else fails we can always become a circus act."

  Aries angles her arm to bring the hawk closer to her face. Born-of-Night looks at her curiously. "What do I say?" she asks.

  "Just ask her if she is okay with you letting her free inside the core."

  "She neither knows what the core is nor does she understand freedom. Or words, for that matter," Aries replies.

  "Ask her anyway."

  When she looks at him, she sees a smirk on his face.

  "You find this amusing, don't you?"

  "A little."

  "You're making fun of me."

  "To be perfectly honest, yes. I am."

  "That is so—"

  The sound of immense wind fills her mind. She sees clouds rushing by at tremendous speed. The earth is far below her and it feels as if she is falling…no, diving toward it. Then the movement stops and she sails in absolute stillness far above the ground. Aries gasps for air and the rush of adrenaline makes her dizzy. Then the image disappears. She wavers and steadies herself again.

  "What the heck was that?" Kiire asks.

  "You understand. You understand what we are saying."

  "What happened?" Kiire gets up and goes toward them.

  "She knows."

  "She knows what?"

  Aries looks at him, still unable to fully comprehend what she’s experienced.

  "Freedom. She knows freedom, Kiire."

  For a few moments, all is quiet in the room.

  "Well, I guess you've got your answer," he says.

  Born-of-Night is now only a few inches away from Aries's face. "It won't be like outside. But you'll be able to fly and hopefully find some food. That has to do for now."

  Born-of-Night moves her head slightly forward, touching Aries's nose with her beak.

  "I'm gonna miss you." Aries says.

  Aries Free-Born, she hears in her mind. I came for you.

  Her expression must have been one of complete perplexity.

  "What is it?" Kiire says.

  "Nothing."

  "Nothing." Kiire repeats.

  "Yes, nothing. Except, I heard something. In my mind. But it's so preposterous... It's nothing."

  "It's either preposterous or it's nothing. But it can't be both," Kiire says.

  Aries shakes her head, feeling silly to even think it, never mind saying it out loud. "‘Aries Free-Born, I came for you.’ That's what it said. She said. At least, that's what I heard."

  "Really? You know what I hear sometimes?"

  "No."

  "Get the hell out of here. This is no place for someone as good-looking and as handsome as you are."

  Aries laughs out loud.

  "Did you say your good-byes?" she asks.

  "We had a moment, before you came in."

  "Funny."

  "Yup. That's me. I'm a funny guy and you have thirty-nine minutes until the loop expires."

  "Okay. Thanks. I guess we have to be on our way."

  Aries gently picks Born-of-Night up, places her inside her sweater.

  "Sorry to have to do this to you," she says, as she closes the zipper. "Before I forget, I wanted to mention something. It might be nothing, but... it happened at work yesterday and the day before."

  "What is it?"

  "We had a fluctuation in one of the server cubes and it looked really odd on the oscilloscopes. Do you know anything about... oscilloscopes?"

  "I get by."

  "Of course you do," Aries says, smiling. "Can I draw something on your pad?"

  "Sure." Kiire gives her his pad.

  With one fingernail she draws the oscilloscope's image on the screen.

  "Hmm." Kiire looks at the image. "You sure that this line here goes backward?"

  "Yes."

  "Okay. Let me look into it a bit and get back to you."

  "Thanks." Aries kneels in front of the vent opening, looks back at Kiire.

  "See you tomorrow," Kiire says. He sits back down, hood over his head, already working his pad.

  "Yes. See you tomorrow."

  Aries crawls into the vent. This time she is much more aware of the hawk inside her sweater. When she’d brought her here a few days ago she’d been so preoccupied with getting into the room in time, she hadn't spent much thought on her other than not to crush her.

  She makes good progress, navigating the maze of ducts without complications, albeit slower than expected. When she arrives at the first of the three large fans she stops, unsure how to get through it without hurting her little passenger. As she looks at the circling fan blades, trying to figure out how to do this without jumping head first through the gap in between the blades, Born-of-Night peeks her head through the opening of her sweater.

  "You want out?" Aries asks.

  Aries opens the zipper. Born-of-Night jumps onto Aries's arm and from there, without hesitating, flies through the turning blades of all three fans, landing on the other side.

  "Okay. I guess that's an option too."

  She rolls through the fans and when she arrives on the other side, the hawk already jumps off and flies further down the tube. "Wait up!" Aries exclaims, and runs after her. Evidently, Born-of-Night knows exactly where she is going as, forty-five seconds later, she waits for Aries at the opening to the vertical shaft. When Aries gets there, she kneels.

  "I have to carry you again," she says. "Once I’ve climbed down I'll let you go at the bottom of the shaft."

  Born-of-Night looks up at Aries. While she does that, three words appear in Aries's mind:

  No good-byes.

  Then, so quickly that Aries can't even react, the hawk turns and jumps into the shaft.

  "No!" Aries cries out and moves forward, trying to catch her. But she is already inside. When Aries reaches it and looks down she sees her, wings unfolded and gliding down like a parachute. A few seconds later, the hawk lands far down at the end of the shaft, lets out a loud cry and disappears from her sight.

  Aries’s eyes sting suddenly. She didn't expect the hawk's sudden departure to have such an impact on her. She sits there, trying to collect herself. The sting of loss is a familiar one to her. But she couldn't have prepared for the loneliness that engulfs her. Like a wave washing over her; she can't help but feel small, unable to expand and reach others, forever trapped inside her smallness.

  "Get yourself up," she says loudly. "You have twelve minutes."

  She moves away from the opening.
She considers mounting the plate back on and closing the shaft, but she decides not to. She goes through the fan blades and reaches her room ten minutes later. When she lies on her futon in the dark room, looking up at the digital representation of a night sky, her thoughts begin to circle around the events of the last few days. How much can happen in such a short period of time? Beginning with Seth's complete change of character, her and Ty's strange discovery, her ending up in Kiire's room, and Born-of-Night's arrival. She decides that, in future, she'll try to talk to Seth a little more. He seems like a nice enough guy, after all. She’d never thought that Ty could be afraid of anything, but yesterday had shown her a side of him she hadn't seen before. And maybe she'd catch a glimpse of Born-of-Night here and there during work. That would be nice.

  I hope you'll be okay, she thinks. Part of her waits for an answer, a sign that she’s been heard. But there’s nothing. No image, no trace of anything, not even the slightest shadow of her presence anywhere. It is as if she is gone completely. Aries rolls onto her side, facing the wall. She closes her eyes, tries to shut out the darkness that begins to engulf her. A few days ago she’d asked for a friend. She found one only to lose her again soon thereafter.

  She becomes aware of a slight change in the light of the room behind her eyelids. When she opens her eyes she realizes that the light emanates from her pad. She turns around and looks at it. The message window is open. Aries grabs the pad, holds it in front of her. It's from C.J. The letters form two words—words Aries will never forget for as long as she lives.

  "Help me!"

  * * *

  Several thoughts go through Aries's mind at once. Where did the message come from? How could C.J. have sent it? Was it monitored? The answer to the latter is clear. Yes. It is monitored. Which means the Corporation knows about it. Which means it knows where it originated from and it knows where it was received. What now? Aries comes to the conclusion that C.J. must have known the ramifications of sending this message to her. She wouldn’t have sent it if she weren't in dire need of help. She must have had very little time as there is no mention of a location, or of what had happened to her and why.

  Lying there, Aries wonders about the message, and what to do about it. But underneath that is another question, waiting to be answered—a question that pushes itself into her awareness with a force that she can't deny much longer. It is the question of how far she is willing to go.

  Aries weighs the decision only for an instant. Then she sits up, her hand finds a few invisible symbols on her pad screen to active a trace program she’d discovered a few months back. It's very sketchy but with some luck she might be able to see where the message had come from.

  "47_x5x_[//0.9995de//]" appears in a small box in the center.

  The moment she commits the combination to memory, she hears a loud banging at the door. A few seconds later it opens, and several security personnel charge into the room. She has the presence of mind to close the program before her pad gets jerked from her hands. One of the guards grabs her, turns her onto her stomach and pushes her into the futon. His knee holds her down so firmly that she can't draw air into her lungs. Her arms are jerked backward and tied behind her back. A dark bag is pulled over her head.

  "You are being charged with severe social misconduct and suspicion of conspiracy. May the law be on your side," someone says. Then she is being pulled upright. One person grabs her arm.

  "I didn't do anything! Let me go!" Aries kicks wildly in all directions, hitting one of the guards in the stomach. He keels over. "Let me go!" Her scream is followed by a piercing pain inside her head when something strikes the side of her face. Then the ground beneath her gives way and she loses consciousness.

  Chapter 6 — Memories

  "O what folly 'tis to think that you are feeble

  That you must bow to fate like the tree bows to the wind

  You are much stronger and even stronger still."

  [—The Midlands]

  For a long time there is darkness. Slowly she becomes aware of the pain. It comes whenever she moves her eyes behind her closed lids. Something orange-red is stuck inside her head. It glows like amber. It looks like lava from a volcanic eruption. Someone must have poured it into her head while she slept. Why can't they take it out? It hurts so much. Please take the lava out of my head! She becomes aware of her right side. Her shoulder and arm rest on a hard surface. She can feel her hips and legs.

  She opens her eyes. More lava flows into her head, burning her brain at two thousand degrees, making her nerve endings scream. Please stop, she thinks. Her tongue is swollen, she realizes. Her mouth is dry, coated with thick dust and sand. She tries to swallow but can't. Please make the pain stop! But even that causes her to hurt more. And then her stomach revolts.

  The pain and nausea together make her puke. It's mostly liquid but the smell of it makes her sicker. She tries to move her head away from it, inches backward. That's good, that's good. Just move away from it a little more. She can feel her upper arms but not her hands. Where are my hands? she thinks. Did they cut off my hands? With that, blackness takes her again. Merciful darkness covers her and she loses consciousness.

  * * *

  The sign on the door says "Five." She sees it only for a second. Then she falls backward over the railing. In passing she sees the lift and what looks like shadow figures moving. Below her, an endless black hole extends into darkness. Then there is water. It fills her nostrils, her mouth, her eyes. It runs down the back of her neck and down her belly. She gasps for air but can't grasp why there isn't any.

  Her head is being jerked back. Bright lights penetrate her closed eyelids. The lava has cooled down a bit. Maybe it was the water, she thinks. I can breathe. She takes deep breaths, realizing that her heart must be going two hundred beats a minute.

  "Look at me," the voice says. Aries isn't sure if she is supposed to follow the command and if the dark silhouette she sees is actually talking to her. She is having trouble opening her right eye. There must be glue in it or something. She can see through her left eye but all she sees is the outline of a person in front of a bright light.

  "Look at me!" the voice says again. Aries looks up. Now she realizes that she is sitting. There is a stool with no back. Her arms dangle alongside her body. She is having trouble moving them. They feel as if a thousand tiny needles penetrate them at the same time. Blood circulation is returning, she thinks while she moves her hands. Thank God they didn't cut them off.

  "Where am I?" she asks. But she is not completely certain if the voice belongs to her. "And who are you?" Suddenly the light is off. Much better. The person in front of her is actually three people. One lifts Aries’s head up repeatedly while telling her to keep it upright. Then there is something that looks like a small camera placed on an angle a few feet away from her head. Its lens points in the direction of her face. Another figure holds something against the back of her neck. A short, sharp pain floods her when the needle penetrates her skin.

  "Aw! What was that?"

  There is no answer. She tries to lift her right arm. It seems very heavy but she slowly moves it upward. She touches the right side of her face. The flesh under her fingers doesn't seem to belong to her. It feels thick. Swollen. When her fingers find her right eye she lets out a gasp. It is swollen shut. Someone puts her hand down. She brings it back up. The same person puts it back down and ties it to the other hand in front of her body.

  "Sit straight up," the voice says. Something sticky touches the top of her spine below her neck. The same sticky pad is being attached to the bottom of her spine above her pants. "Sit still and sit straight up. This is just a test."

  While Aries wonders what kind of test this is, the nerves in her spine burst into flames. She lets out a loud scream. The pain stops after two seconds.

  "If you close your eye for more than one second, you will feel pain. The same if you get up, turn your head, or move around. The camera is here to make sure you don't move. You understand?"


  "Yes."

  When the person seems about to leave, Aries finally gets her sense back.

  "How long... do I have to sit here... like this...?"

  "Until we confirm that you're not a threat."

  "Threat? What do you mean, threat?"

  The door shuts. Aries is alone in the room. She turns her head slightly; big mistake. The pain in her spine makes her jerk her head back to its original position. The pain stops. A tear runs down her cheek. I'm not going to cry, she thinks. There’s no way I'm going to cry right now. Stop it!

  She breathes in and out a couple of times. I can do this. There's nothing to it. I'll be out of here in no time. She calms down. Other than the pain in the right side of her face, she seems fine. She moves her jaw. It hurts but she doesn't think it's broken. "So far so good," she says under her breath. Then the screen in front of her starts to flicker.

  Before she sees anything, she hears her mother's voice. When the screen comes on, it shows her old apartment. She sees herself, a few years younger, from an angle slightly above, most likely a corner of the hallway. This must have been taken by one of the security cameras. She is wearing a dress and sandals. Her hair is short. This scene looks familiar to Aries but she can't pinpoint its time frame. Both her parents are there. They seem agitated. Since they died, Aries has watched a few clips that she had bought; they showed her parents in several situations, some with her and others without. They were nicely cut together and underscored with soothing music. But she’s never watched more than a few minutes. It was too painful. Since then she has been tempted to watch a few times here and there to see how she would react, but she could never make herself do it.

  "We'll be back in an hour," her dad says. From this angle he seems to have even less hair than she remembers.

  "Love you, sweetie," her mom says, and kisses both her cheeks. Her features seem tense and somewhat controlled. Aries has a vague recollection of this scene. She becomes aware that her mouth is dry again. She feels her heart rate accelerate. Her younger self turns around in the hallway and goes into her room. There, from a different camera, she sees herself sit down and turn on music.